The Wanderer

Tell us about the top five places you’ve always wanted to visit. GO!

Well, they involve a time machine.

1. Dallas on the day the Kennedy was assassinated. You know, so I could really get the low down. Did Oswald really take all of those shots? Was there a second shooter? Where was he? All that stuff. Also, I’d tell Zapruder to steady his camera better.

2. The Sea of Tranquility on the Moon. I’m a skeptic. I’m still not convinced. I want to see if there really is an American Flag, a moon buggy, various golf balls and a plaque signed by Nixon.

3. Ford’s Theater on the day that Lincoln was assassinated. So I could say, “Dude, watch out”! Also, I would collect souvenirs and sell them on Ebay, because I’m insensitive like that.

4. Behind van Gogh when he painted The Starry Night. So I could say, “Hey, can I buy that”?

5. The set of Perry Mason. So I can talk the casting director and be cast as the guy who says, “He was dead when I got there”!

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